Flirting Guide

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When Lou Bega Mamboed his way to No 1 on the charts, it wasn’t just his disgustingly addictive and sugary lyrics that made him a pop sensation – it was the topic of his song.

He was, quite simply, a shameless flirt who loved women. And what warm-blooded female could resist that?

There’s been a certain kind of stigma attached to flirting. We’re going to put it down as plain jealousy; a good flirt is not just a relentless, shameless self promoter – but somebody who can use their personality as a man-eurvering tool. Flirting, after all, is just another form of communication.

We’ve put together an nzgirl’s guide to flirting, which will soon have you batting your eyelashes up there with the best of them…

Flirting is about fun:
There is nothing scarier than the intense flirt. They’re the strangers who won’t leave you alone, even after you’ve hinted that you’d rather eat toenails than talk to them. They will follow you to the bathroom if they have half the chance. So your first lesson is to get into the right frame of mind. The key to being a good flirt is curiosity. You need to be curious about people, but not to the point where you ask them how they like their eggs in the morning. That’s just too obvious. Think about it as seeing what others are like in comparison to you – a sincere ‘hi’ and a smile will more likely start a conversation than ‘your mother must’ve been a thief, cause she stole all the stars in heaven and put them in your eyes’. Uggh! Cheese does not equal good flirting.

Flirts are charming:
Charm isn’t something you’re born with. You acquire it over time, like a good wine collection. Charm is the ability to appear both easy-going and roguish at the same time. For instance, the person you’re flirting with may ask you what your thoughts are on threesomes, you might reply with, “I have a list. Maybe if you’re really lucky, you’ll get to find out someday”. Charm is all about retaining an air of mystery. You don’t want to be inscrutable (that’s just no fun), but you don’t want to give everything away either. A little bit left to the imagination can go a long way.

Flirting is all about good banter. You’re using all your senses here – reading their body language, listening to them and then responding. Give a little, then pull back and wait for them to make the next move. It helps if you think of it as a game of verbal tennis. You say something, they say something, and if you both click, then it could be the start of a great game…

And if the game leads up somebody’s garden path, then you’ll want to make sure you’re the kinda girl that spreads love not trouble. That is, make sure you play it safe and use a condom sweetie! Make it fun by picking one of the Durex Select varieties – coloured and fruit flavoured to make it even juicier!

Karen Tay

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