Does your man have ‘Peter Pan’ syndrome?
Coupledom – for us girls, it spells the end of singlehood. While we may shed a fond tear or two for those wild nights out when we stagger home at 7am (and have to start work in an hour!), many of us are secretly glad to have someone warm to cuddle up to at night, share our joys and problems, and just generally do stuff with.
At nzgirl, we believe that boys and girls essentially want the same things. They just go about it in different ways. So, if your man is a bit of a Peter Pan, here’s what we suggest you do…
Boys are a bit funny and defensive about their male friendships. And their boy mates tend to get a tad protective about their territory too. Boys’nights out or weekends seem to be one of those sacred domains that turn into World War III – tears, arguments and recriminations – as soon as a girlfriend tries to encroach on it. We at nzgirl have a motto: if he’s out with the boys, then the girls come out to play. That means if he’s out doing poker night or whatever with his mates, get the girls to come over for cocktails and a giggle.
Alternatively, if he’s on a fishing trip with the boys, then head over for a girls’ weekend in Sydney with your friends. Relationships would be boring if you didn’t have different stories to swap every now and then – and the best way to have those is to keep developing your separate interests.
If you’re lucky enough to have three rooms, perhaps two of those could be converted into a his n’ hers space. You get your library/walk-in closet, and he gets his pool room complete with fish tank and movie posters. Boys are practical creatures, by giving them something concrete to solve, they’ll feel less threatened and more useful.
The only way to get over it, really, is to suck it up. And if it helps, agree that as well as a joint account for all the serious adult stuff, you’re both allowed to retain personal accounts for “fun” things, where you put say 20% of your pay and can only be touched by you.
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