You’ve met the perfect guy – he makes you laugh, smile and he’s absolutely gorgeous. There’s just one thing wrong…he doesn’t make you feel anything, or at least anything good, in the sack!
What do you do if the sex just plain sucks? Can your relationship survive and what should you do? We take a look…
Get past it
Sex is only sex after all. Your attraction to a person shouldn’t be so shallow that it’s based purely on their ability between the sheets. But we’re all friends here so let’s be honest – it’s a huge factor! You need to think carefully about all the great qualities he has that attracted you to him in the first place (before you jumped in bed).
If these factors are amazing enough (and hopefully they are), they should be more than enough to compensate for what he’s lagging in. If not, well, it could be a sign that you’re just not that into him anyway…
A guiding hand…
Don’t stress about it too much – it could just be that he doesn’t know what you want! Guys aren’t mindreaders (as if you needed us to tell you that!), so it could be that he isn’t totally incompetent in bed – maybe all he needs is a little guidance. Try telling him exactly what you want and show him how. Don’t crush him though – men have fragile egos (especially when it comes to intimate matters)!
Next time the two of you are going at it, casually slip in a ‘Babe, I’d love it if you did….’ Seriously, he’ll appreciate the fact that you’re giving him a little guidance in a non-crushing way. Although guys do love sex for their own selfish reasons, equally, they love the confidence boost of making you feel amazing just as much!
Fill your relationship with something else…
Don’t let sex be the main factor in your relationship! It’s important to find a common bond between the two of you – no healthy relationship should be based on the sex alone! Whether it’s a shared passion of sport or a love of travel, find a common link to help make your bond stronger. This should help you move past the state of things in the bedroom department, and help the two of you get closer.
No doubt, the more comfortable you are with each other, the better things are bound to get (whether it’s him experimenting or you getting the confidence to tell him what to do).
If after all of this, nothing’s working for you and you’re still hung up on the fact that he’s just not that great in bed, then it’s probably a sign that it won’t work. Although things shouldn’t be all about sex, if you can’t get past the fact that you’re not happy in the bedroom, than you probably don’t really like him all that much, and the sex is just the tip of the iceberg!
So remember ladies, when it comes to love, you need someone that makes you happy in all areas!