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I’m attracted to my boyfriend’s brother

Super Kitty answers your questions in the ‘Powder Room’. This week she has some advice for a girl flirting with her boyfriend’s brother…

Dear Karen

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 16 months now, we hardly ever fight, and spend most of our time outside work together. The problem is, lately we’ve been hanging out with his brother quite a lot, and I’ve discovered I’m attracted to his brother. Now whenever I see his bro I find myself flirting with him, and try to get his attention all the time.

I know nothing will ever come of this as he’s probably not even remotely interested in me, and also he’s a really decent guy who would never hurt his brother. So why am I so into him?? I love my boyfriend so much!! I don’t want to hurt him, but why do I keep thinking about his brother???

Confused

Dear Confused,

What do you want me to say? You’re asking me to hold your hand as you immerse yourself in a boiling bath of hot oil. Dude, you’re lusting after your boyfriend’s brother. Do you see a problem with this? You tell me.

You’ve got two options here, my wee lass. You can come clean and wait for the roof to fall on your head (which it will), or you can keep quiet and try to ride it out. Sixteen months is quite a long relationship, especially when you’re young. You need to figure out whether it’s worth trying to work things out.

In relationships, especially long-term ones, you will always be tempted by other people. It’s not unusual to look outside your own field for fresher grass to graze, so to speak. Perhaps the reason you’re attracted to his brother is because he’s the only other male you come into regular contact with apart from your boyfriend.

Whatever it is, there is an unspoken rule that you don’t pee where you sleep. You don’t crap in the house. If you need me to elaborate further, just imagine how YOU would feel if you had a little sister and your boyfriend started making googly eyes at her.

Even if your boyfriend’s brother was willing to go for it, what kind of man would that make him? Would you really want the responsibility of forever being labelled the girl who broke up their family? If you married your boyfriend, this guy would be your brother-in-law. I’m just trying to help you put things into perspective here.

So you’d better put a lid on the flirting while you can still safely do so. Unless your boyfriend is a very stupid man, he will eventually catch on. You won’t really have any choices left at all when this happens. Better to step back now and review your situation.

Like I said, people who have been going out a long time get a little bored sometimes. It’s human nature. They just choose not to act on their impulses because they’ve learned that some things are simply not worth risking. It’s called maturity.

You love your boyfriend, and you’ve said you don’t want to hurt him. I’d say that attempting to bonk his brother (should he find out) would do quite a bit of damage to him. If you decide to dump him, have the courtesy to do so nicely, without involving any relatives in it. That way, you won’t screw things up for the next girl he meets.

Do the right thing, you’ll welcome the good karma.

Karen

Super Kitty a.k.a Karen Tay
(making the world a better place…one meow at a time)

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