Let's talk about text!

But because you can’t see his face, hear his tone, or know if the lame emoticon he used is for real or not, it can be very difficult to interpret what his text message is really saying.

 

So to help clear things up, here is a list of some common text messages that we have deciphered for you…

 

He’s reaching out, without risking rejection. By not directly asking you out, he’s testing the waters. This is confusing but can be used to your advantage. If you don’t want to catch up, reply with something just as vague, ‘yeah we should…sometime.’ If you do want to, reply with the suggestion of something specific.

 

This is the perfect cliché opening into some dirty text banter. He’s putting it in your court, wanting to see if you're into ‘sexagging’, or going to shoot him down. Just be wary of getting into nude pxting (that type of tomfoolery can seriously backfire).

 

This seems really nice. But that’s the problem, it’s the nice that you would use to finish a conversation with your grandma…if your grandma could text. He’s politely ending the conversation. Take the hint and don’t try to keep it going.

If you get this message in the small hours, it probably translates to, ‘I’m drunk, alone and horny’. In other words, it’s a booty-call. But I reckon you knew that one already.

 

If he sent this after a date, he’s interested in seeing you again. Otherwise, why bother following up? He also doesn’t mind you knowing that he likes you, or he would’ve waited a few days before texting.

 

A text takes literally seconds. Mobile phones are basically an extra appendage to the body. So if he’s ‘too busy’ to text you back he’s most likely what the Americans describe as, ‘just not that into you’.

 

If you get this after asking what he’s up to this weekend, it says that he’s not sure how he feels about you. There are no friends from out of town. It’s more likely a wee lie in case he gets a better offer, but it conveniently acts as a door-stop to keep things open with you.

 

OK, so it’s a bit of a jump. But if he keeps replying with a question, he obviously wants to keep the conversation going. That’s a good indication that he’s interested in you.

 

Ah the blank text. It says so little…yet so much. He’s calling out for attention. Maybe you’ve had relations with this guy already and he’s unwittingly dropped off the radar. Rather than text you straight out, he’s tried a passive approach that makes it look like getting into a conversation with you just happened, ‘by accident’.

 

This trick might’ve cut it when texting first came onto the scene, but now it’s just lame.