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 When you have been coupled up for so long, you generally can’t even remember sleeping in a bed alone!
So it’s no surprise that it can be a huge shock to find yourself suddenly single. And whether you have been left in this state through divorce, death or a split – there are some things you should do to make sure your mental and physical health are looked after.
Reach out No matter what your situation, there are people out there who love you. It’s possible that you have let them fall by the wayside while you were all wrapped up in the love of your life, but don’t fret, they will understand. If you tell them you need them, your friends will come back to you. They are a priceless form of support that you need right now!  Family goes without saying – if they’re not there for you now, they can’t count themselves as family. So make sure you reach out and claim your rightful support.If you feel there is no one out there for you, try calling Lifeline or asking your GP about a counsellor. It helps to talk! Commiserate – and celebrate Of course there is going to be mourning – even if the person is still alive. After all, they have left your life. But while you should let your sadness run its course, don’t forget that you, as an independent being, are worth something alone. Celebrate your independence. Take yourself out for dinner and relish your own company. You might find you enjoy it. Breaking out of your comfort zone is another way to celebrate yourself. Imagine something you would never have done when you were a pair – say skydiving for instance – and go out and do it. The liberation of following through with an activity that is so outside of the square could be just what is needed to get on the road to happiness. Keeping up appearances .jpg) And this doesn’t mean you should be seen in all the right places – but simply that you should look after yourself physically. Keeping fit and having your hair the way you like it – even when there is no one around to check you out – is important for your self-esteem. And when you are ready to date, there will be attention galore! The five stages of grief No matter what the circumstances, you are bound to feel some grief when your partner leaves. Psychologists say there are five stages to this grief, as follows: 1: Denial This is all about lacking the belief in what has happened. If your partner has died, you might still expect him to walk through the door any minute. After being told quite clearly that your partner wants to break-up, you suddenly decide that he or she will change their mind.  2: AngerYou might be angry with your ex for making you sad. You could express anger at others when they are just trying to help. You could even be angry with yourself. 3: Bargaining In desperation, you may try negotiating with your ex at this stage, claiming that you will change. You could even start speaking to god, whether you are religious or not, promising to be a better person if your partner is sent back to you. 4: Depression This is the beginning of accepting what has happened. It is usually marked by a dark, quiet and withdrawn stage.  5: Acceptance Despite still being sad about the situation, you are able to move forward at last. This is that light at the end of the tunnel that everyone talks about. Knowing these five stages may help you to get through them, but don’t forget to reach out if you feel you have been stuck in any one of them for a little too long. It may also be difficult to recognise them for what they are – this is only natural. Eat well, go for walks, talk about it – and you’ll get through it. Camille Butler
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