|
 Here you are, with a job that is going nowhere, a love life that is stale or non-existent, and nothing to tie you down...
So what do you do? You save up and buy a ticket overseas, believing and hoping that a year or two away might help to make your life worth living again. Maybe you’ll find yourself, find your niche. Find something, or someone...
 Then, mere months away from take-off, who comes along but Prince Perfect, throwing doubt into your itinerary with his piercing eyes, intelligent conversation topics and caring personality. Crap - you’re in love. This is a dilemma faced by many of us young kiwis as we take off on our OEs. There is something about a time limit that invites love. Just when you don't want it.
Here is a rundown of your options if you are about to embark on a journey away from a new-found romance. We can only offer advice, but ultimately, the decision is yours… Option 1: Stick to the plan After all, this could be short-lived – and you have worked so hard to get to this stage. Don’t go throwing it away on a whim. The fish become more plentiful when the sea becomes larger, and there are plenty of guys out there just waiting to meet a sweet kiwi girl. For once in your life you are armed with an accent, use it! Still not convinced? Well, consider how often this sort of thing happens. It could be this last minute romance is made more intense by the lack of time you have left. Remove the time limit and you remove the passion. He’ll understand, and who knows, you might be able to hold onto a long-term thing while you’re away. On the flip side, you might find yourself feeling surprisingly free when you step off that plane a single independent woman, what with all those foreign boys around.  Option 2: Holding on and hopingIf you really feel you can’t walk away from it at this stage, then you should be in a position to mention it to him. In fact, if things are that serious, this issue should have already been discussed at length. Bring it up and gauge his reaction. This is the only way you’re going to know if he feels the same way you do. Boys are good at hiding their feelings – which on the negative side means he might be playing it up knowing you’re not around for long.
You will see through this immediately when you suggest putting off or cancelling your trip – his face will visibly fall! Or, more optimistically, if he has been hoping you would suggest it, the proof will be in his smile. Don’t waste time wondering – just bring it up and see. It could also be worth changing the dates of your trip to give the relationship a bit of extra time - that’s if your ticket allows it.  Option 3: Extra baggageWant him to come? Think carefully before suggesting it. Would you do it if the situation were reversed? And is it really as serious as all that, or are you blowing it out of proportion because the time limit gives it a sense of doom, a Romeo and Juliet slant? Try to picture the two of you going overseas together and starting a new life in a new country. Does it seem doable, or doomed?
And while you shouldn’t make decisions based on the opinion of others, consider what your friends and family would say. Most will be against the idea of you running off with a new lover – and deep down, they want what’s best for you. Also, how well do you know each other? Travelling overseas together is a big step even for a long-term couple. It can be stressful and testing. Most importantly, an OE is supposed to be a time when you find out for yourself who you really are. When you go travelling as a couple, people won’t talk to you as much. You will find you are often left alone, as those around you assume you don’t need any interaction. And a lack of interaction means a lack of experience. Think about this before you suggest he come with you – because once it’s suggested, it’s difficult to revoke the offer. Good luck with your decision making – and remember, it’s a big, wide world out there! Camille
.jpg)
|
