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Most of us know both happy couples and couples who  aren’t so in-tune with each other - we take a look at the ten habits happy couples know about. There are many kinds of couples out there, but for most of us there are only a few we can say we truly envy. Why? Because they are so disgustingly happy. They smile and laugh together, flirt with each other - do everything together.
Ask most for their secret and they will say it’s because they are best friends. But what has made them this way? Couples in long, happy relationships follow a few - be they unspoken - guidelines. These may be different for each couple, but for most they go a little something like this…
 1. “One thing that keeps us going - and gives us something to talk about - is our shared love of skiing!” Maria, 28.Shared interests are a big part of any friendship - and your relationship with your partner is the most important friendship of all. If you don’t have at least a few interests in common, chances are you will have trouble understanding what drives one another. Try to at least feign interest in each other’s hobbies, and never dismiss them as unimportant or boring. You could even take up a shared hobby. Who knows? Learning to rockclimb could be the saviour of your relationship. 2. “Part of what makes me feel good is that he takes equal responsibility for the housework. My mother was always bitter because my father never did anything around the house.” Therese, 29. Cleaning up after your partner is fine - as he long as he cleans up after you too. This isn’t just because of the quest for equality, but because it shows a mutual respect and sharing of responsibility. This can also be carried through to other areas - like whether or not you leave the car with petrol in it when you know he is using it next, or if you think to bring home milk for his cereal even though you are lactose intolerant. If you think of each other, you will have a happy relationship.  3. “All I can say is date night, date night, date night.” Joanne, 25.Here at nzgirl we often push the concept of date night as a means to a happy relationship (read Date Night: Reignite the Romance for more). For those new to the idea, date night involves putting aside one night per week, or fortnight, (or however often you can manage, as long as it’s regular), when you go out together on a date. It doesn’t matter if you have been a solid couple for years - this is a chance to show you still care. Dress up, position yourselves near some candlelight and make sure you do some good old talking. 4. “I feel happy with my relationship because my fiance and I talk about the future a lot and discuss what it is we want. It feels real to hear him being so certain about me being a part of it.” Jessica, 31.Never diss the fact that he wants to own a dog one day. He shouldn’t laugh off your desire to have three children. If you take each other’s ideas for the future seriously and discuss your future often - and talk about each other in it, you will feel secure, and therefore happy. .jpg) 5. “It’s the kiss before we go to sleep at night, or the emails we write each other from work, just to say I love you.” Tammy, 23.Just because you have been together for a long time, doesn’t mean you are allowed to stop showing your love for each other. Never stop writing him love letters. Never stop bringing him home beer on a Friday night. Whatever it is you did for each other when you first started going out, keep doing it. And be creative too. There is always a new way to show you care - and it’s usually the little things that mean the most (check out Revive Your Relationship for some tips) 6. “I think what keeps us together is the fact that sometimes we are apart. We keep our independence.” Melinda, 32. While having shared hobbies and interests is important, so is having different ones. When you go out and do something without your partner, whether it be the gym, a party with the girls or a Spanish class, it gives you something to talk about when you regroup. Time apart can also refresh your feelings about your relationship. Even the happiest couples need space from one another now and then.  7. “When we first started living together, there was some tension about sex, but now we have reached a balance and we are really happy.” Jodene, 26.Equilibrium in bed is usually reached when a couple is happy with most other areas of their relationship. Both parties are mutually respected in terms of both their needs and desires. Neither can complain (much) about not getting enough, or doing it too much. To reach this state of bedtime bliss, it's important to keep communication open and talk about your sex life. Also, try not to stress if it’s not happening as much as it once did. A happy couple is not necessarily a pair of bunnies. 8. “Turning off the TV while we eat meals is a ritual that I think makes a huge impact on our relationship.” Simone, 27. Talking and showing interest in each other’s day will help to bring even the most seemingly doomed couple closer together. All it takes is a little conversation. Try to eliminate distractions during quiet times, like TV or loud music, and make sure the talk is evenly spread between you. It truly helps to talk your daily stress away. .jpg) 9. “It makes me happy when I see how he cares about my family. It makes me think he is really serious about me.” Tavita, 24.Happy couples like to spend most of their time together, and most of us have to spend at least some of our time with our families. The people we grew up with are always going to be important to us. Showing respect and love for his family will make him believe you really mean it when you say you love him. Never diss his sister, or gossip about his aunt. When it comes to family, treat his like you would your own (to a certain extent!) and you will reap the emotional rewards.
10. “We try to get out of the city at least one weekend per month. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Camping is fun!” Tashleigh, 23. Leaving the reality of your daily life behind you now and again can also help bring you closer. The adventure, the fresh air, the change of scenery - it can all work to refresh your feelings for one another. Plus, people always have more sex when they are on holiday - it’s a known fact! Camille Butler
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