If you’re anything like me you might have recently swapped your ‘marriage is for losers’ mantra for a healthy dose of pining.
Sure, you see why there isn’t any hurry, and you know he loves you, but some little piece of you wants to see it on paper. Maybe it’s old fashioned, but the idea that your boyfriend is ready to make it public and legal seems to still hold some importance to a lot of us modern women - even if we’re not religious.
We can’t help it - the idea of a pretty dress and a special day still makes us a little soppy. But are you ready? And what should you do if you feel it’s time?
Ready…or not? Before you get yourself all fired up about weddings and forevers, take a look at these eight points. If you can honestly say yes to most of them, then you are probably ready to give it a try.
1: Have you been together for a while? This is no hard-and-fast rule, but in general, a long-lasting relationship is more likely to grow into a happy marriage. Some people get married while they are still in the honeymoon phase (the first year or so), and this often ends as quickly as it starts. Try to give your relationship some time, rather than becoming a divorcee at a young age.
2: Do you live together? Happily? It’s okay to argue, but screaming at each other regularly is not. It’s also not cool to feel as though you are treading carefully around him - or like you have to be pushy to live life as you like it. You need to have similar lifestyles to be able to stick it out.
3: Do you have a cooking/ cleaning routine? You need to be equal, or at least happy, with the way these jobs get done. A marriage of bitterness is born from being complacent about these issues, until it is too late to change.
4: Do you have a joint bank account? Finances should be discussed and ironed out before any talk of marriage. A major cause of break-ups is financial stress. Also, there should be trust, which is what a joint account can symbolise.
5: Have you discussed children? You need to know if he wants them (and vice versa), and you need to have sorted out how your family life will happen. Even if it changes in reality, it’s best to have discussed these things before it is too late.
6: Have you discussed what you want from life? Similarly, your goals in life should be established. This is not only true for the two of you as a couple, but also because it is really not a good idea to get married before you have established your goals for yourself. You might end up a bitter housewife who never figured out what she wanted from life. And we don’t want that!
7: Have you travelled together? This doesn’t have to mean travelling overseas - as long as you have experienced the stresses that travel can offer, and have gone through them together, and survived!
8: Do you talk? If you have really found ‘the one’, you and he should be able to stay up late into the night talking to each other about anything and everything. There should be no limit to your conversation. But, you must also be comfortable with the silences.
Talking about marriage Most couples who have been together for a while will have at least once discussed marriage. A lot of couples speak as if their marriage is inevitable - and yet this can be a drawback, as it almost makes the proposal pointless. If you are really desperate to get married, you need to stop hinting or sulking, and have a discussion with him.
When you are talking about the future, ask him what he thinks about getting married. Bringing it up and discussing it just puts it out there. You will still have to wait for him to ask (unless you ask him, read on for tips on this).
Talk about what you want from life in the next few years and perhaps mention that you would like to be married by a certain age. Or if you think this is a little too forward, just talk about what kind of wedding you would like. This can make a good conversation anyway, as it clarifies again whether you two are suited. Even if you want different kinds of weddings, your willingness to alter your dreams for one another demonstrates your love.
Asking him To a lot of girls, the idea of asking him can feel like a bit of a let-down. Part of the marriage dream is the romantic moment when he gets down on one knee, or takes you in the hot air balloon, or on that special picnic. However, if we can really call ourselves modern women, we should be able to turn the tables, even when it comes to the male-dominated world of proposing. So how to do it? Well, in much the same way a man proposes to a woman. Us girls can be so wrapped up in the stereotypes that we forget that our boyfriends are actually quite sentimental beings too. So, if you want to bring a tear to his eye, choose a beautiful setting, or an activity that he loves doing, and surprise him then. Don’t be spontaneous - especially when intoxicated! Make sure you think this through. You are making a huge step, and once it’s said, there’s no going back!
Why are we waiting? Unfortunately, waiting for him to get round to it can be the best road. There might be many reasons why he hasn’t proposed yet. It could be that he is waiting for the right moment. It could be that he isn’t ready - and you don’t want to marry someone who isn’t ready. It could be that he wants to feel like he can provide for you, as old-fashioned as it sounds. Maybe he wants a house. Maybe he feels like he can’t afford to give you the wedding of your dreams. For whatever reason, it could be you just need to enjoy life and be patient. At least you’ve always got something to look forward to!
for losers’ mantra for a healthy dose of pining. 
forevers, take a look at these eight points. If you can honestly say yes to most of them, then you are probably ready to give it a try.
3: Do you have a cooking/ cleaning routine?
Most couples who have been together for a while will have at least once discussed marriage. A lot of couples speak as if their marriage is inevitable - and yet this can be a drawback, as it almost makes the proposal pointless. If you are really desperate to get married, you need to stop hinting or sulking, and have a discussion with him. 