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You don’t have to be a psychologist to be able to figure out what a boy is thinking - you just have to be observant. And that’s what we girls do best, right?
We watch, we criticise, we plagiarise. We exaggerate, we titillate, we turn minors into majors - we celebrate or commiserate. And we do plenty more too.
So, when you’re talking to a boy, be he your boyfriend, your first date or an object of your affections (who has just approached you from across the room), how can you tell what his intentions are?
Is he listening?
To most of you this won’t be news, but if he’s interested, he will pay attention to what you say. Not to what you look like, what you’re wearing or even what you’re doing (all of which involve staring at your body). No, if he likes you, for real, he will actually listen. o how to tell if he’s listening? Think - if you're not truly interested in someone, what happens? Your attention wanders. You might still be looking at his face (cos he’s hot) but you probably won’t be listening to what he is saying.
You can tell when someone is thinking about something else - their eyes glaze over. If you pay close attention you will see this happening. And less subtley - if you’re talking to a guy and he keeps looking out the window, or watching other girls as they walk by, this is a clear indication of where his brain is.
 Detecting a liar Plenty has been written about detecting a liar. But without a polygraph, how can you know whether he is telling the truth? Well, there are a few sure signs that a liar will display. A liar is a nervous creature, so he wants to take up less space in the world. This way there will be less chance of you noticing him. For this reason, when a person lies, his physical movements will be smaller.
He will probably not move his arms and hands much, but if he does, the movement will be towards his own body. He is unlikely to touch his chest or heart with an open hand (a sign of truthfulness). He will probably avoid making eye contact with you. Nervous people will also find themselves inexplicably itchy in places like their nose or behind their ears, so watch for these movements.
I want you to want me Okay, so we have established that he’s listening (or not). And we have figured out whether he is telling the truth. Now, how about some romance? While dangerously overplayed on the box and in movies, a sure sign that you are thinking about intimacy is in the mouth. Licking or biting your lips - especially for girls - is one way of noticing whether they like you or not. Although be warned that it is terribly overplayed and should never be done for show. If it’s fake, it will look fake.
Touching your face or chin draws attention to the mouth also. This goes hand-in-hand with playing with hair. When a girl likes a guy, she can often be seen running her fingers through her hair. This is because hair is a sign of vitality. And guys do it too - albeit not as much. It could be more of a casual brush of the hand, but an eagle eye will spot it. Another sign is when a guy matches himself to resemble you. When you like someone, you change yourself to fit them. You don’t notice that you do it, but you do! So if you are talking to a guy and his voice changes, or he bends to be more your height, or he smiles when you smile, it could mean he wants you to want him.
Bored, relaxed or indifferent? Remember those old cartoons where the male duck - or rabbit, or goose - sees the female one? His eyes expand, his feet patter on the ground, and he lets out a loud call of ‘Aaa-ooogah!’ Well, humans aren’t quite so obvious. However, when we’re excited, our pupils dilate. We jiggle our feet (also a sign of nervousness), which comes with taking a chance and talking to someone we like.
Exhibiting none of these signs probably means he is not interested at all. If his arms hang loosely by his sides, or are folded, I would probably give up. However, don’t forget to look closely for those signs that he’s listening. Sometimes people just take a bit of getting to know - and shyness can easily be mistaken for snobbery.
Camille |