Hot Pink is a regular column on nzgirl that's sure to have you in stiches! Don't miss your weekly fix.
To find out all about its author, Penny Ashton, just click hereFriends with benefits, to the single girl, are a very useful thing.
They are especially useful when they live in a different city. That way you can’t get too attached to them and start wondering if they should move into the “potential boyfriend” category, which always ruins everything.
Instead you, or they, breeze into town, make 12am phone calls and then hunker down for a good few hours of ‘How’s Your Father’ whilst listening to your latest Johnny Cash album. Nice.
It helps if they are smart so as to discuss Winston Peter’s latest assertions in equally mocking tones, it helps if they’re funny as sex is always more fun when coupled with a good Epileptic joke, and it helps if they can do the business.
I mean that is the whole point after all… and believe me that hasn’t always been a given.
There is nothing more lamentable than a regular shag who thinks a quick fiddle and a mammary giggle qualifies him for the Karma Sutra Hall of Fame. Note to any boys reading, it may be a cliché but foreplay is forewarned. DO it, reap the rewards. We’ll go the extra six inches for you every time if you do more than play hide the sizzler with us.
If not, our Intrepid Rabbit will do the trick without the stale beer breath and gravel rash.
Having said that a fun, illicit liaison with a hilarious sexy guy is a wonderful way to pass a Sunday. Sure it’s no replacement for love and the whole new level of weirdness and addiction that that brings. But let’s say if love was heroin this would be my methadone.
Isn’t that a romantic picture?
Human contact is human contact, and when your skin is being refreshed by someone who makes you laugh, but just lives on the wrong island, what the hell is wrong with that?
“Ahhhhh but can you stay distanced?” The overly romantic types ask me. “Isn’t it harder to be alone again afterwards and don’t you become attached?”
I suppose beds always seem emptier once someone leaves BUT it also means I can lie diagonally across it again without kicking anyone in the face. As for becoming too attached I’ve avoided it so far. Geography is a powerful anti-aphrodisiac. Or as I like to put it, absence makes the heart go wander.
So until I get another shot of the good stuff, I’ll look forward to any lay-overs that fit in with my very busy schedule.
Choice.
Penny
Last updated: 29/04/2008
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Hot Pink is a regular column on nzgirl that's sure to have you in stiches! Don't miss your weekly fix.
To find out all about its author, Penny Ashton, just