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Well unlike a lot of sexual activity in Holland, this weekend I kindly waived my hourly rate for a young man.
Having a one night stand in Holland may seem like standing in front of a fish ‘n’ chip shop and handing out free paua patties, but to be honest prostitution isn’t the job for me.
Not that I’m judging.
Although I’m not too keen on charging for my considerable skills (and in fact often just give them away for free to anyone willing to buy a few savvys) I gained a new respect for the women that do on a fascinating tour in the Amsterdam Red Light district this weekend.
When I first visited the district ten years ago I had no idea what to expect. I thought there’d be a few prostitutes on a few corners with a few red lights twinkling about the place.
But that would be like saying Imelda Marcos had a few pairs of jandals.
In fact it is filled with women in postage size underwear giggling in glass doors gesticulating for grunting Brits to get over their skunk and enjoy their worldly pleasures. There are rows and rows of windows on tiny streets, along canals and anywhere else a single bed can fit, and behind each door is a business woman.
That business may not be to all our tastes but it’s the world’s oldest profession for a reason. Often it seems men will burst at the seams without offloading some semen and these women understand that.
Apparently it all started in the area back in the 1300s or so when the women that performed this role saved respectable women from being shanghaied by lusty seamen who were starved of more than just Vitamin C, and so their role continues. Though these days they tend to save them from being marooned in front of Playstations and Dungeons and Dragons conventions.
Contrary to popular belief most of the women in the doors are not drug addicts either. They have to pay up to $300 to rent a window per eight hour shift and if an addict had that much money she would never waste it on rent. They then charge between $70 and $120 for whatever your heart, or further south, desires.
The amount you charge also depends on how you look, so let’s just say Charlotte Dawson would do alright whereas Dame Edna Everidge would not (well unless someone had a cross-dressing man with huge glasses fetish, and let’s face it someone probably does.)
This money then pays for everything from mortgages and uni fees to credit card debts. They are normal expenses paid in an abnormal fashion where a woman gets to dictate a lot of her own conditions. Obviously not all women are happy to be there and some are there under duress, but apparently this is the minority and pimping has been made illegal in an attempt to protect the women.
And yes, most of the workers are women. There is a street dedicated to she-males but there are no men in any windows.
They tried that in 1995 but it was soon abandoned as let’s face it, how often do women pay for sex when all they have to do is let a man buy her a few savvys in a bar in The Hague and bingo, she scores.
In hindsight however, he could have done with a bit more practice, ahh well maybe I’ll find a nice male brothel somewhere and compare the results for my comedy act. After all then, it would be tax deductible.
Genius.
Penny
Last updated: 29/04/2008
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