Hot Pink is a regular column on nzgirl that's sure to have you in stiches! Don't miss your weekly fix.
To find out all about its author, Penny Ashton, just click here
I remember when I first moved to London in February 1996. It was the middle of winter, bloody freezing and whilst it was hard to adjust to -16 degree windchill, at least the Britons heated properly.
I grew up in Christchurch where the entire population seems to believe they live in Miami and so has meagre fires in one room and icicles for pillows in the bedroom. Getting up at 7am on a mid-winter’s school morning was about as welcoming an idea as losing my virginity to a teenage Rodney Hide.
But I digress.
I vividly remember anticipating the start of the English summer, those lazy hazy crazy days that inspired poets to talk of hosts of golden daffodils and made Cliff Richard wanna go on holiday.
And I waited…..
And waited… And waited……
All of a sudden it was here, two beautiful weeks of sunny weather and then……it was over. Just like that. Literally two weeks of summer then back to the doom and gloom.
To be fair that was an unusual year, and when the sun does come out here like it did for two days last week, there is nothing better than heading down to Regent’s or Queen’s Park to loll about on the grass with 50,000 other Londoners.
BUT what is completely unforgivable however is that at this time the white, pasty, beer swilling, curry munching local lad will rip off his
“EEEnnngggglllaaaaaaaaannnnnnd” Polo Shirt and cause a solar flare on the earth’s surface.
I have never seen more jelly-flesh on view than the time I swam in jellyfish spawn at New Year. It’s about as enticing as a cake in the shape of testicles with alfalfa sprout pubes. Not pretty.
Unfortunately though stripping is a national pastime in the English Summer and not just at the Pink Pussy Cat. Everywhere you look, when the sun comes out so do the man titties. It’s quite horrifying.
Luckily though the weather here has turned back to its default state, otherwise known as crap and so the only man titties on view are on the Pink Pussy Cat channel and I am wearing thermal underwear in summer.
I am heading to Sardinia though next week and so I’m hoping the lovely Italian boys will be as fond of stripping as their English counterparts. Then as far as the man titties goes, if they show me theirs, well I might just show them mine.
Oh not my man titties tho you understand, I don’t have any of those, that would be weird. Actually if I did show them mine the main problem would be that they’re as white as a bleached kelvinator beside a polar bear in a padded cell.
Ummmmmmmm I’m just off to get some Ambre Solaire…..see ya!
Penny
Last updated: 29/04/2008
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