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I guess there comes a time in every break-up when you finally realise it’s definitely over.
As I said a few months back I’ve never really done this break-up thing face to face. My last one was over distance and as I haven’t exactly been Miss Serial Monogamist that’s the sum total of my experience.
SO when I broke up with my boyfriend in January it unleashed a whole world of insanity I didn’t know was coming.
The main problem I had was uncertainty and really that’s about as fair to the significant other as pitting Nicole Ritchie against Sigmund Freud in a battle of wits.
I was confused, with every emotion pulsing through my veins, not least of which was a chemistry between us that could ignite a nuclear bomb, so I dillied and dallied like Elizabeth Taylor trying to pick a husband.
Going to Adelaide for 6 weeks definitely helped the situation because as the book It’s Called a Break-Up Because It’s Broken states, (yes I did read my first self-help book) leave the poor guy alone already because you broke up with him.
But in reality when you miss someone’s company so much that’s about as easy as leaving your arm behind, especially when for the most part they were lovely.
I can hear you say; “If he was so lovely why did you break up with him you twat, we’re still looking for Mr/Ms Right and you frivolously turn your back on that.” But of course things are never black and white, Mr Wrong or Mr Right, I had my reasons, which I’m not going to go into here.
But I eventually came to the resolution I had made the right decision and so finally ended my useless dithering last week, which came as a lifting of a burden to the man in question. When he explained that, I felt guilty for making it go on, but at the same time I really wanted to be sure. And suddenly I was.
The hardest thing I did was delete his gorgeous texts from my phone, especially when the little question popped up to greet me “are you suuuuure you want to delete this message”. I looked at it through blurry eyes and knew that I did.
And so the 14 months have run their course.
I mostly had a fantastic time and I have learnt a lot, especially to be tolerant to my friends who take a long time to break it off.
I used to be Ms Callous “Oh for god’s sake get on with your life and stop wallowing in self pity like Liza Minelli in gin” but now I’ll measure my words, and a few shots of gin besides.
Penny
Last updated: 29/04/2008
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