Hot Pink is a regular column on nzgirl that's sure to have you in stiches! Don't miss your weekly fix.
To find out all about its author, Penny Ashton, just click here
One of my most overriding insecurities is that I hate being alone.
I think it stems back to a time in early adolescence when I perhaps wasn’t blessed with as many friends as such an obvious cool dude should expect. I mean don’t get me wrong, I was no geek, hell no, but…well… I lurked on the periphery of the cool crowd for a bit and that pretty much sucked as I was never quite included.
Today this has manifested itself into a feeling that if no one calls up to go out in an evening then I’m obviously a social leper with bad breath and as cool as Donny Osmond at a barn dance.
I conveniently forget the far more likely idea that I’m always so busy organising social engagements that people assume I’ll be too busy and don’t ask. (Well that’s what they say to me anyway, or maybe I AM uncool…………..no surely not.)
BUT it’s not normal to be out tripping the light fantastic every single night of my life. (Then my name would be Paris Hilton and I’d have a dog that would fit inside my tampon box.)
Still on nights like tonight, when my flatmates are out and I have sat watching The Apprentice alone nursing a glass or twelve of red wine, I can’t help feeling a little winsy bit sorry for myself. (God that Marcus is a dick!)
Some people revel in being alone. “Oh I just love living by myself, I can swan around the house naked, spread vegemite on myself and listen to David Hasselhoff records and not be judged by anyone.” Yes well good on you if you love it but I loathe it.
Some might say I am not comfortable with my own company and should work on that. I say “F**k off, I love myself very much, but I’ll go blind if I do that all day so it would be nice to go out.”
This is of course all compounded after breaking up with my constant companion. My ex was around all the time providing me with lovely, manly, nice smelling company, now that’s no more and my friends all have far more important things to do than spoon me to sleep. (And besides, that’d be a bit weird really.)
Still it is for the best, and tomorrow night Everyone Hates Chris is on and I have a new jar of Vegemite and a second hand vinyl copy of David Hasselhof Sings America. (Oh my god this really does exist…it’s scary!)
So really, who needs boys anyway.
Penny
Last updated: 29/04/2008
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