Hot Pink is a regular column on nzgirl that's sure to have you in stiches! Don't miss your weekly fix.
To find out all about its author, Penny Ashton, just click here
Sorry for the missed week nzgirlies but I am mad rushed off my feet at the Adelaide Fringe Festival performing 21 shows in a row! I’m into week two of three and let’s just say I’m having a brilliant time.
My show, "Hot Pink Bits", is getting great houses and great reviews and this festival is so much easier than Edinburgh. It’s amazing, I can just relax and have fun. How strange.
Some houses are of course better then others and last Sunday I had a fantastic crowd. They were laughing and cheering in all the right places and I had lots of fun.
I came to the end of my show where I have to pick two male audience volunteers and while I was peering into the audience I saw a tiny hand waving about.
Holy s**t I had a kid in my audience.
Now for those who haven’t seen my show I’ll let you know that onstage I don’t use cute little asterisks for words that start with f and c. To say it’s inappropriate for a nine year old is like saying that Dolly Parton’s dress at the Oscars made her tits look a little big.
Nonetheless the emotional scarring had been done by the end of the show so I decided to get him up to dance like a man-ho. He got a t-shirt to wear, or in his case it was more like a tent, and seemed quite excited.
Firstly I asked him if I’d taught him some new words and he replied very matter of factly; “No I knew them all already”. I then asked him if he had a girlfriend and he informed me that yes he had had one but he’d broken up with her now. I didn’t pash anyone till I was 13 so I was impressed.
I then taught him to pelvic thrust, bump and grind and lap dance ladies in the audience. Ahhh I’m a fabulous influence. He was a bit reticent to lap dance and I explained that the nice lady had no girl-germs and that pelvic thrusting would come in useful in about eight years. He seemed pleased with that.
In fact he was a lot better than the 35-year-old I got up to dance with him who probably didn’t get a pash till he was 25. But at least he tried and for that I’m always grateful.
So yes it’s eventful here in Adelaide and it seems people are liking my Hot Pink Bits very much. People do keep asking me to show them off and for that my answer is always the same.
Buy me some drinks and I just might.
Penny
Last updated: 27/04/2008
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