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This week I’m going to talk about…..DRUGS!
Don’t worry none of those illegal ones, just the ones that might be illegal soon.
Yes I mean herbal pills.
For those of you who don’t know ‘herbals’ as they are affectionately known, are chemical highs or party pills that are legal to sell in New Zealand. They are of course banned in USA, UK and Australia but hooray we can still fry our nervous systems with them here if we want.
I remember the first time I tried them. It was probably a good four years ago and I was at a Concord Dawn concert feeling the urge to get down. I heard they were good if you took four at once so my friend so I did just that and waited for the fun to begin.
Holy sh*t.
Not only did the fun begin but it pretty much didn’t stop for three days. I was so utterly off my face that I was onto someone else’s face in China. I danced like I was possessed by Hurricane Katrina and caused only slightly less damage to my brain cells.
My hangover wasn’t so bad the next day but my friend was so paranoid he was about to die he nearly took himself to hospital and another friend once crawled into the foetal position and stayed there for three days after a binge.
It was then we did some research and realised that ‘herbals’ are about as herbal as Joan Rivers’ tits. Someone had told me their main ingredient was pepper BUT it seems it was BZP or Benzylpiperazine, and what is that you ask? Well I’ll tell you….
Cow Dewormer.
Hhhmmmmm. Yes so it seems not only can you get totally twisted on herbals but you can also clear up that nasty case of Ringworm too. How nice.
Of course the debate still rages in the courtroom over whether we should follow the rest of the world and ban the pills but I am really in two minds. In moderation they are no worse to me than 28 vodka tonics...
However, on Waitangi Day I ingested one and danced with 45,000 people in Auckland’s domain at Groove in the Park. Then I then did what you’re not supposed to….dialled under the influence and found my ex.
The rest as they say is history, and even though I do think they should ban the things, I guess I’m kinda glad they didn’t.
Penny
Last updated: 29/04/2008
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