When to sleep with someone for the first time is a touchy issue. For everyone person who tells you to wait, there will be someone else with a story about how they jumped into bed with their partner the first night and are now living happily ever after together.
Then there are things such as religion, culture, personal standards and OPA (Other Peoples’ Advice) to take into account.
All this can get so confusing that when you actually meet someone you want to sleep with, the pleasure of first time sex can get lost in all that muddle of thinking, debating and worrying. To add to the complication, what if it’s your first time ever? What if you’re a virgin?
I decided to research the topic amongst some friends. The guys were unanimous in their declaration – no, most men do not expect sex on the first date. They may hope for it, and will certainly be a bit worried after a few weeks pass by without any action, but they don’t work to a set timeline.
Girls fell into two main groups: of the ‘wait’ category, and the ‘sex is as good a way as any to find out if you’re compatible’ category.
The general consensus seemed to be that most people, guy or girl, will advise for you to wait till you’re sure before you sleep with anyone. There’s a reason why quotes like ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ exists. It’s hard enough navigating the minefield of dating without involving the physical stuff.
That guy who seemed so perfect on Tuesday night under the starlight could prove to be a bastard who’s running away from IRD for missed child-support payments, or have a girlfriend tucked away.
Sex, like it or not, brings up a raft of emotions for most people. It will make you suddenly feel very strongly about fast-forwarding a relationship that’s really only been in existence for two weeks. It brings unspoken expectations bubbling to the surface: mainly, the monogamy issue and STDs. If you haven’t had The Talk, or don’t feel comfortable enough to have The Talk, then you’re probably not ready.
The Talk consists of asking each other questions like:
a) have you ever been tested (for STDs)?
b) are you seeing anyone else?
c) I feel ‘X’ way about you, how do you feel?
The reason why you’re not ready to sleep with someone without The Talk is because you’re obviously not comfortable enough to broach these questions, and they are REALLY important, especially the first. If you cannot talk to them, then letting them into your body will only create more problems.
As long as everyone keeps everything consistent – which means, no mixed messages, you’re open and honest about your feelings and what you expect out of this, then sex should be treated as simply another part of the budding relationship. It can be fun, experimental, adventurous and a wonderful way of getting to know someone.
The key thing to remember is that it’s your life. You’re meant to make mistakes, there’s no other more effective way of learning. So if you’ve slept with the wrong guy, or are berating yourself that he didn’t call because you were too easy...don’t.
All it tells you in each instance is that he wasn’t the right guy for you. Because the right person for you will be one who accepts you as you are, doesn’t judge, and is there for you at the end of a screamingly good night in the sack, regardless of when that is.
When to sleep with someone for the first time is a touchy issue. For everyone person who tells you to wait, there will be someone else with a story about how they jumped into bed with their partner the first night and are now living happily ever after together. 
exists. It’s hard enough navigating the minefield of dating without involving the physical stuff. 
The key thing to remember is that it’s your life. You’re meant to make mistakes, there’s no other more effective way of learning. So if you’ve slept with the wrong guy, or are berating yourself that he didn’t call because you were too easy...don’t.