When Opposites Attract...

So do opposites really attract, or does that only happen in Hollywood romances? Read on as we investigate whether a couple with little in common can really last, or if that’s just the stuff of fairytales…

 

Many people in successful relationships have similar values and attitudes on things such as religion, money, lifestyle and future ambitions. These attributes are often a big part of the initial attraction for those looking for long-term stability.

 

On the other hand, there’s not denying the attraction to the unfamiliar and exotic. A man who carries different values and attitudes to you opens up exciting new avenues of experience and ways of thinking, so there’s no surprises that opposites sometimes do attract.

Unlike values and attitudes, personality is something that takes longer to distinguish. While incompatible values and attitudes can be negotiated, personality differences cannot as easily be solved. When in a relationship with someone who’s personality is very different to yours, cracks may begin to appear in the long term. For example if one of you is introverted, while the other is extroverted, or one is expressive, the other reserved – you may find that being opposites isn’t so attractive after all.

 

Then again, like Bella and Edward in Twilight, we cannot control our feelings of attraction nor can we stop the momentum of true love. Sometimes despite being very different from someone, we can see attributes in them that we admire or even adore. Different personalities can also be complementary, with each person bringing out aspects of the other where they may previously have been imbalanced.

If you find yourself in a relationship with someone very different to you, you must first ask the question, is it lust or love? It will take more than just the thrill of the unfamiliar to keep you together, so you need to determine whether these exciting differences are complementary or conflictual.

If this person is potentially a long-term love, your differences may be able to be negotiated. If you have the ability to communicate and to compromise, your differences can be worked through with a little bit of hard work. It is also important to have respect for each other and to be considerate of each others different needs and attitudes. This may mean making changes to your lifestyle, or working on the way you communicate and treat each other.

 

Maybe the romance of opposites isn’t just a fairytale after all. Falling for someone who is very different to you can be one of the most breathtaking and thrilling kinds of romantic scenarios, so hopefully with a little work, you may just live happily ever after.