Decoding His Argument Style

In reality, once the film is over, boy and girl end up getting into the same fight over and over again, and girl begins to realize that her significant other is actually a significant bother, and she’s getting close to throwing in the towel on the whole thing.
 

Popular relationship literature claims that in an argument, men avoid conflict and women have a tendency to overreact. The advice is normally to not raise your voice, refrain from using personal criticisms, to not become too emotional, and to compromise. Unfortunately, some men are real troublemakers and staying calm just isn’t cutting it.
 

No doubt you’re doing your very best to diffuse the tension, but sometimes there are things under the surface that are preventing you from reaching a resolution. Don’t give up yet! The answer may be in the real reason he is arguing with you. Read on to find out what kind of fighter your man is, and how you can best deal with him…

 

This is one of the most infuriating of arguing styles. He loves picking a fight and winding you up, whilst staying eerily cool the entire time. His plan is to make you scream, yell and swear so that he can play the victim, making you be the one to apologise.

He says: “At least I’m not the one yelling” or “You’re so irrational!”

Why he argues: When you sense him trying to pick a fight, it is most likely because he is feeling insecure, and feels the need to take back the control in the relationship by making you lose it.

What you can do about it: Don’t engage with this manipulator. Take time out to cool down, and have a talk with him later about what’s really bothering him. He may just need a little reassurance.

 

This guy is just plain arrogant, not to mention stubborn! He just can’t understand why you don’t agree with his infinite wisdom. He thinks surely if you stopped talking and just listened to what he was saying, you would see that he is right! 

He says: “You’re not listening!” or “No, I will not agree to disagree!”

Why he argues: This guy feels the need to freely express himself and gets fired up if he feels like he’s not being acknowledged and appreciated.

What you can do about it: Try validating him by saying “You have a good point, and I understand what you’re saying.” If all else fails, kindly bring an end to the argument by telling him “I appreciate what you’re saying, but I need some time to think about it. Let’s talk about this later.” Now walk away and let his ego get back down to size.

 

As soon as a disagreement ensues, this guy comes out with all guns blazing. He brings up old arguments and disputes, and uses personal criticisms. He may raise his voice and display aggressive body language.

He says: “You always….” or “This is all your fault”

Why he argues: For this guy, attack is his best defense. It is likely that he is being so confrontational because he feels like he is being criticized or threatened.

What you can do about it: Try your best to avoid phrases that sound like they’re critical of him. If you need to bring up a problem or concern with your man, make sure you do it at a time when he is feeling relaxed and non-threatened, not at a time when he is feeling stressed. Keep your tone calm, and make suggestions rather than commands.

 

In the end if you want to resolve the vicious cycle of arguing, it’s a simple equation of time, effort, patience, love and getting down to the nitty gritty of why you’re really arguing. And remember, underneath his warmask is that sweet boyfriend you fell in love with, and he may just need a little love and patience!