When it comes to your boy’s bedroom antics, let’s be honest, there’s always room for improvement...
Approaching this subject with your man is never going to be easy and talking about what he’s not doing enough of, not doing at all or simply isn’t good at, is only going to leave you with a sulky boy. No sex tonight. Learn to raise the subject the right way with these little tips and tricks that every girl should know.
Coach him
You are his own little cheerleader, so let him know when he’s on the right track. It’s important not to criticize or insult your man when it comes to his ‘technique’, or lack there of, but instead slowly encourage him in the right direction. Be responsive to any positive advances and he will learn to pick up those reactions, because despite any macho-ness, he is eager to please. Be vocal in what you like – tell him it feels good and you want more, tell him you love it when he does that and after sex, that you can’t wait for him to do it again. Being clear in what is working for you means he’ll know the direction to head in next time.
Reward him
It’s like teaching a dog to do tricks. When he does a good ‘trick’, give your boy positive affirmation right then and there by saying something like “How did I get so lucky?”. You also need to skip the long-winded conversations about where and when, and get onto the demonstration. If you want something to change on the sack, promise of a positive outcome will get you there a whole lot quicker (“I’m going to be so turned on you won’t believe it!”). Make like a boy-whisperer and train your man for a bedroom behavioral makeover because hey, you can always tie him up if he’s a bad puppy.
Brainwash him
People use hypnosis to stop smoking, so why not to shift your guy’s thinking when it comes to sex? No, we’re not talking dangly clocks and ‘you are getting sleepy’ chants, but positive association. So it sounds a little funny, but Karen* had a problem with her hubby’s lack of attention to her breasts during sex so employed her own visual trigger. In an attempt to re-programme her man’s brain, Karen would playfully bounce her pair in their love-making moments while using words connected to sexual pleasure.
The result? Her unsuspecting man began to associate playing with her breasts as her getting all excited about him. He thinks he’s the man and you get what you wanted – it’s win-win!
Take control
If all else fails, put yourself in the domineering position and show him what you want. You can also try introducing more of your fantasies into the bedroom (he’ll pick up on common themes), with this also opening the door to walk him through exactly what you want him to do. Couple this with the aforementioned positive responses and you’re home…happy!
Trance words
To give your brainwashing an extra boost, try figure out what his ‘trance words’ are. ‘Trance words’ are words that have a special emotional connection for him, or in this case, words that trigger thoughts of hot, hot sex. A good place to start is to listen to what he says when he’s talking dirty, then use those words to turn him on.
Coach him
Reward him
Brainwash him
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