Starting Over Fresh

The first and most important thing to do is check that there aren't other factors at play. People can get so caught up in a relationship that it becomes their whole world, but you can't shut life out forever. Check that you don't have depression, which can often make you feel hopeless, unhappy and restless. And review other external factors that could be affecting the way you feel about your man, such as extended work hours, fights with friends or family and of course, health issues apart from depression could also be at fault.

 

Learn to communicate
Effective communication means that you both really listen to and hear each other. There's no point talking to the other person if you feel as if they're not paying attention or just waiting for their turn to speak. Here is where a good counsellor can help. If that's not your style, then there are little things you can do yourself which can help, such as making a pact not to bring up issues at certain times of day (such as before bedtime or just after work).

If you've been leading separate lives lately, what with work, family and other commitments, and feel as if you don't really connect to your partner anymore, there's a reason for that. Couples need to do things together to re-energise their relationship. So if you can't remember the last time you had a proper date, then make one now. Make it formal too – call your partner up and ask him on a date, then plan something fun. We also recommend going away together for a break and leaving all your problems at home. Have some fun together, after all, that's what a relationship should be about!

 

 

Taking a break is such a cliché, and you'll have to be prepared to lose the other person altogether when you suggest it, but sometimes absence can make the heart grow fonder. We have to admit here that this is a really a last resort, and that you should try any other options left to you before this one, but occasionally a couple needs time apart to figure out what's wrong with the relationship. Some ground rules are – you should both agree on when the "break" should end, be clear on what the purpose of it is, and don't involve other people. If you or he is taking a break to start dating other people, that's not an actual break, it's a break-up – but a cowardly one because you want to keep the other person on the back burner.