Making Long Distance Relationships Work

Set some ground rules
You need them to know where everyone stands. Whether it's you or him that's leaving, the top three things to establish are: what is the purpose of the long-distance relationship? If it's for work, then you need a timeframe when the other person returns or you can move. Secondly, you need to find out whether you will stay physically faithful to the other person – this one's also a sexual health issue too, and thirdly how often will you communicate with and see each other? Will it be phone calls every night and weekends together once a month? 

 

Stay in regular contact
The couple that plays together stays together. But if you can't play together, the second best thing is to keep in touch with each other as much as possible. Here's where it gets hard, and where most long-distance couples fail. It can feel like a prison sentence having to report your every move to someone not even living in the same town or country as you. Then there might be issues of time difference, one of you doesn't like talking on the phone, etc.

The point is, you should hear from each other at least three to four times a week and that's proper conversations, not brief emails.

 

Physical contact is a human need and if you're in a relationship, it can spell the difference between one that works and one that ends in a breakup. Obviously in long-distance relationships, you'll have to go without for long, dry spells, but you should also have something to look forward to. Plan for naughty weekends away as often as you can afford to, and you should take turns visiting each other if it's feasible.

It's important to be in each other's lives still, even if you're not physically there, so while you're in their new turf, make sure that you make an effort to meet their new friends and work colleagues as well as spending quality time together.

 

A long-distance relationship only works if there's an expiry date on the distance. If there's no light at the end of the tunnel, then what are you working towards? You need to discuss, preferably before the other person goes away, what the goals are for their trip and when they can see you being together again. If they are serious about making it work, then they will have a timeframe in mind when this can happen – whether it's six months, a year or three.

Beware if they only have vague ideas about when, or if, they ever come back. It means that they are probably doing the long-distance thing to keep you happy and avoid having to break-up.

 

Are there ways to avoid it?
Last of all, are there ways to actually avoid it? For example, if your partner is moving away for work, can you go with him? Check out visa requirements if it's another country to see how easy it is for you to score a new job. Of course, if it seems unfair to you that you're the person having to give up your life to follow your man to the ends of the earth (and vice versa), then don't do it. You'd be unhappy right from the start.

Also, if it's only for a short period of time, then is it possible for you to take a career break or extended leave? Learn to think outside the square!