All couples argue, but what if your fights are going from bad to worse and you’re forced to buy a new set of dishes every week because one of you throws plates when they’re angry?
Constant arguments often spell the beginning of the end in relationships, but there are ways you can stop yourselves from bickering.
Have a “safe” word Agree on a safe word – something you say to each other when you feel that your temper is starting to get out-of-control. It can be something as simple as “stop” or whacky like “purple cherry pie”. The other person then has to immediately go silent, no matter how difficult it is, and you both go away till you’re feeling calmer.
Learn to walk away Walk away when you can feel that an argument is going on. But the important thing to remember is to actually tell the other person what you’re doing and why, before you do it. Otherwise they will be left even more furious than before. Calmly state something like – “I realise this is important to you, and it is to me too, but I’m too angry to talk about it at the moment. I’m going to take a walk and clear my head, and when I’m back, we can discuss it.”
Understand the other side of the argument Girls and boys are more than just biologically different, they fight differently as well. Whereas guys tend to blow their fuse and roar out their anger, a lot of women go into the “silent treatment” mode, expecting their partners to read their minds. When girls do fight, they tend to get carried away and see the current episode as a symbol of everything that’s wrong with their relationship Guys then feel like they’re being picked on. The trick is to stick to the current issue, no matter how hard that is, and if you can’t help but raise your voice – apologise, take a few deep breaths and try again.
Don’t yell in the first place For some reason, most boys are deathly afraid of their girlfriends when they yell. It’s almost a sure way of making them withdraw into their shells, only peeking their heads out every now and then to see if it’s safe. You’re shouting because you believe that the other person isn’t listening to you, and you believe that raising your voice will help. Force yourself to drop it to a whisper. It forces you to think, and regulate your anger.
Agree on a safe word – something you say to each other when you feel that your temper is starting to get out-of-control. It can be something as simple as “stop” or whacky like “purple cherry pie”. The other person then has to immediately go silent, no matter how difficult it is, and you both go away till you’re feeling calmer.(419).jpg){kind=small}