I have a friend I’ll call Sally. She’s great fun to hang out with – smart, funny, witty and always has time to meet up for drinks and a boogie…when she’s not in a relationship.
When she’s in a relationship, Sally morphs into Miss No-Show. Suddenly, she’s too busy for even a quick coffee with her mates.
We all know someone like Sally…the great friend that turns out to be not so great once she has a boyfriend. Or you could even be guilty of it yourself. So, how do you balance spending time with your friends, and spending time with your boy – so you keep both parties happy?
Don’t cancel dates with friends to keep dates with boys
Okay, this one’s actually hard to do because in the first flush of a relationship, you want to spend as much time as possible with your boy. While your friends should be understanding to a degree, a big taboo is cancelling on an appointment with your friends to hang out with your boy. It’s disrespectful to them – after all, they were there first, and think about it, if they’ve made plans to fit around you, you’ve put them out as well.
Spend time with the girls
Don’t live in your new boyfriend’s back pocket. Try to tear yourself away often enough to keep things interesting. After all, if you spend all your time together doing the same things, you’ll get bored and have nothing to talk about when you’re together. Plus, when you come down to earth, you’ll need your friends to be there!
Take them out together
What better way to spend time with both your friends and your boy than bringing them out together? They’ve gotta meet some time. Try to keep an open mind and remember that your friends might not necessarily like your boy the first time around and vice versa. Different people have different personalities and they might just rub each other the wrong way. However, that rarely happens on the first meeting as most people are still on their best behaviour.
Take them out to a club together, throw a few rounds of drinks into the mix and see if your group of pals has a new member, or if you need to try harder!
But make sure you spend time apart
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Too much time with your friends can also have a negative effect on your romantic relationships. Sometimes people spend time with their friends because they either want to avoid spending time with the boy, or as a way of protecting themselves from getting hurt. If it’s the former, then your relationship is going nowhere.
If it’s the latter, then to remember that to reap the rewards, you must take some risks – if you want a real relationship that can last the distance, then you must be prepared to open yourself up completely to the other person.