Tall, dark and handsome? Check. Has a fabulous job, earns lots of money, has a cute Golden Retriever and calls his Mum every weekend? Check. Constantly spoils you with gifts, adores classical music and whisks you away to the ballet as a surprise? Err…check?

As girls, we are told by self-help authors, television personalities and our mothers to expect the earth out of every guy we date. But when does making a list go too far? And how much should we expect really?

You have a list…and then some
Not only does he need to be good looking, nice and personable, you also want him to be best friends with your best friend, have a job in international relations and love your mother. And these are not just bonuses, they're requirements. While we agree that some basic things on the checklist must be met (he must be single, solvent and sane), you can carry things a bit too far when judging someone by points on a list.

Think about it, how would you like it if some guy decided you didn't quite make the cut because your cat's a moggie rather than pure-bred Siamese?

He has to get along with all your mates

If he doesn't call you back at once, he's a dog
Other people have a life too. That's right, just because his days don’t revolve around calling you or being with you, doesn't mean he's not into you. Think about it this way – for the first twenty or thirty-something years of his life, he hasn't had you in his life, which means he must have outside interests and friends. How fair is it to expect him to ditch them for you?

Just as you wouldn't like being told what to do with your time, he doesn't either. It's much better for him to want to, and then choose to, spend time with you.

You must be his soulmate

Sarah Lane

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