Is He A Keeper?

So how do you tell if your guy is a keeper, and if you’re ready to be in a relationship with him?

He treats his friends/family the same way

The way he treats you is, of course, the most important sign of all – but watch how he treats others close to him. If he always speaks to his Mum like she’s an idiot, or treats the wait staff at a restaurant like they’re personal slaves, then you’re staring your future in the barrel. This is the way he’ll speak to you and treat you, maybe not now, maybe not even for a couple of years, but once you slip into the comfort zone.

Someone who’s genuinely nice, from the bottom of his heart, will be the same way to everyone, especially the ones he cares about.

 

We’ve all seen 50 First Dates, starring Adam Sandler as the man who would do anything to woo his lady, played by Drew Barrymore. What girl wouldn’t want a man who would walk through fire for her? But if you’re in love with the idea of Adam Sandler more than the guy standing in front of you, than you’re living in fantasy. If you find that the only way you can bear his company is to daydream about different romantic situations, then you probably don’t even like him much, let alone should be in a relationship with him.

 

Wrong. Let’s clarify – people who have all the same interests will quickly tire of each other’s company. A little difference is good for the occasional debate, and also for something to talk about when you get together. But if he spends all his time tinkering with cars and you’d rather blind yourself than watch another episode of Top Gear, then how are you going to spend quality time together?

You need some common ground at least. For example, you may not like the same films all the time, but you both enjoy going to the movies. Or he enjoys windsurfing whereas you prefer hiking, but at least you’re both into the outdoors.

 

When BAM, you meet the guy that you’ve been waiting for your entire teenage and early adult years. Your heart’s pulling you in one direction, your brain in the other. While your friends are quoting dark statistics about the rate of divorce and your head is filling with romantic scenarios of a tearful last-minute intervention at the airport, the reality is that you’re leaving. You can have a few months of fun with him, but it’s hard to keep a relationship going long-distance.

This is when you must make the hard choice: him or the big trip? But also a word of caution, if you were absolutely certain that this is the guy for you, your one-and-only-soulmate, then would that decision really be hard to make? Take it from there and see where it takes you.

 

The rule is that you take half the time of the relationship to recover from the actual break-up. We don’t know how well that applies, really. In love, there are no hard-and-fast rules. But we do know that if you or he has recently been dumped, and were in a relationship with the other person for a substantial amount of time (anything from two years on), it takes longer than a few weeks to recover.

Even if you’re the person who did the dumping, a spell alone does you good. If you find that you’re feeling overly attached, far too quickly to your new man – and want to spend all your time with him early on, it’s often a sign that this is a rebound.