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When a relationship hits the rocks, it can be difficult to decide whether to stay and work through the issues or to simply cut your losses and run. How do you figure out if you're facing a temporary difficult patch - or if your relationship is doomed? We think you're better off apart if...  1: You don't respect each otherExperts say that once one person starts to feel contempt for the other, the relationship doesn't have long to live. If you find yourself continually mocking your partner's actions, habits, or decisions, this is a sign that you're no longer harbouring respect for him. Similarly, if he's derisive of your hobbies, goals, and values, he's not respecting you. This is often due to personality differences or conflicting values -- both of which are hidden by the initial romantic glow of a relationship.
2: You don't trust each other
Is he always demanding hour-by-hour recaps of the times you're apart -- where you were, what you did, and with whom? Do you start feeling jealous the moment he mentions another girl's name? Trust issues can poison a relationship. Maybe he's not always honest with you. Maybe you've cheated on him and he isn't able to regain his trust in you. Maybe his actions continually give you reason to be suspicious. In any case, it's time to move on.  3: You're trying to change your partnerPeople have been dreaming for centuries of molding the perfect partner. Unfortunately, you can't transform your boyfriend into the ideal guy. Your relationship will founder unless you can accept that there'll be some differences between who you're with and the dream boyfriend you've always pictured. However, if you've taken this into account and you still find yourself trying to change your guy, it could be a sign that your personalities simply don't match.
4: You bring out the worst in each other
Your partner should be one of those people who brings out the best in your personality. Around him, you're funny and smart and sweet. You encourage and inspire each other. However, if he continually brings out only the worst parts of your personality -- or if being around him always lowers your mood -- then something's not right in the relationship dynamic. Everyone's got negative qualities, but those shouldn't be the only ones that show when your partner's around.
 5: Your partner's values clash with yoursEach of us harbour certain things that are particularly important to us. Our values, principles, and way of living make us who we are. If you believe strongly in animal rights, and you're a committed vegetarian, you'll have difficulties with an intimate partner who doesn't think twice about eating meat. If honesty is important to you, you'll run into issues with a guy who fudges his tax returns. If your partner is causing you to compromise what's truly important to you, it's time to reconsider the relationship.
Rebekah White |
